An "Unbiased" Interview
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October 30, 2009
12:43 Ante Meridian
* * *
It was the aftermath of Chaos. The Matinée Movie Trailer was covered in confetti and corks from the champagne bottles popped open from the partying of the inauguration of Matinée Unlimited. Despite Bucky Skyler's loss to James Magnum for the Number One Contendership, it was a night of partying and fun.
The snack tables were out and were covered with paper plates with a variety of tasties including cheese doodles, potato chips, pretzels, cookies, cake and so on. In the background, we can clearly make out Dwight Mare munching on a cheese doodle. Seconds later, we see The Tang run by with a broom stick, seemingly under the impression that if he sits on it, he can fly.
However, the focal point of our feed is on Ripplemagne and Hayden Clarke. Still in his ring garb, Ripplemagne throws the Sterling belt over his shoulder. On the other hand, Hayden Clarke is seen in one of Ripplemagne's Believe t-shirts and a pair of torn up black jeans. By the quality of the shot and the overall mechanics of the video, we can tell that the operator of the camera is not The White Mage and this is not an official edition of Your Feature Presentation.
Quite the contrary, Hayden Clarke has a microphone in hand as she smiles with strain in her cheeks to prevent too much of her emotion coming through her facial features. On the other hand, Ripplemagne is standing with a cocky look on his face, making it clear that this is an interview.
Hayden Clarke:
"Good evening, Global Extreme Wrestling fans. I'm Hayden Clarke and I'm standing by with the newly crowned Sterling Champion -- the King of Hearts, Ripplemagne!"
Leaning over, Ripplemagne looks into Hayden's eyes with a haughty look, prompting a bit of a nervous look from her. Cracking a meager smile, he turns his head, speaking into the microphone and looking into the camera with his face especially close to Hayden's.
Ripplemagne:
"Strange. I could have sworn a particular goon made mention that there was no way that I was going to beat him. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, Mr. Lynch was supposed to prove to the world that the only reason that the magnificent one got anywhere in the business was because of your friendly neighborhood Stay Puft Marshmellow Man."
A snicker escapes Ripplemagne's lips as Hayden hands him the camera and he stands upright to continue...
Ripplemagne:
"If I recall correctly, the Ripplemagne is supposedly all of the following: A 'fake ass bitch', a 'pussy' who 'jerks it to anime', 'nothing', a 'homo ass muh fucka', a 'little white boy bitch', someone who 'cares what people think', one who is 'limited' and has 'boundaries', a 'ho' ass bitch' and that my magnificent gluteus maximus is somehow 'scrawny'."
Scratching his head, Ripplemagne tugs at the top of his shirt and takes a deep breath with a raised eyebrow and a pretentious look of concern on his face. After his little acting appeal, Ripplemagne titters to himself before continuing...
Ripplemagne:
"One has to wonder, though. If the Patriarch of Pretty is all of these things, what does it say about the guy who lost his pretty little belt to him?"
Cocking his head with a sarcastic look, Ripplemagne taps on the Sterling title as if to mock Javon Lynch for tapping out from the Sandman's Serenade.
Ripplemagne:
"Though, to be fair, Mr. Lynch did say that I 'ain't nothing' and by the laws of double negatives, that must be his way of ensuring that he didn't run my name through the muck too badly before having his head bounced off of every meter of that glistening steel girder along the entrance way. Especially after you insisted that you were going to, if my memory serves me correctly, shove your foot up my marvelous posterior."
Licking his lips, Ripplemagne adjusts the belt on his shoulder while taking Hayden Clarke by the chin with his hand. Smiling to her blushing face, Ripplemagne finally turns back to the camera and continues...
Ripplemagne:
"It's rather interesting to hear you talk, Mr. Lynch. You seem to be under the impression that because of my dapper visage, demure stature, flawless linguistics and gorgeous skin tone -- that the area of Queens that I descend from is Breezy Point.
It's all well and good though. See, the public schools of the Empire State are littered with pugnacious blatherskites such as yourself and it's all too familiar for the magnificent Ripplemagne. You assumed that my delicate features meant I've never taken a punch from a set of greasy, jagged sausage-link fingers like yours. You assumed that jovial nature was a result of being sheltered and that I didn't know what 'real' was."
Hayden Clarke:
"It's kind of funny, really. Ripplemagne is perhaps the most earnest individual I've ever met. His bravado is all show and that makes him fake."
It was clear that there was still scorn in the mind of Hayden after the rude interview she had with Javon Lynch.
Ripplemagne:
"His entire thought process astounds me. It's somehow a debacle for someone like me, one who 'plays by the rules', to not be in prison. But his delinquent, who no doubt got locked up for pimping his little sisters in the proejcts for a pouch of cocaine, who Mr. Lynch feels obligated to defend after giving him his 'conjugal visit' should be set free because uh... he's 'real'."
Raising his eyebrow and scratching his head, Ripplemagne shakes his head and laughs to himself. The premise of this amazes Ripplemagne, quite obviously...
Ripplemagne:
"His entire thought process astounds me. It's somehow a debacle for someone like me, one who 'plays by the rules', to not be in prison. But his delinquent, who no doubt got locked up for pimping his little sisters in the proejcts for a pouch of cocaine, who Mr. Lynch feels obligated to defend after giving him his 'conjugal visit' should be set free because uh... he's 'real'."
Hayden Clarke:
"You know, you're booked against him for next week too, right?"
Ripplemagne:
"I guess he does have a rematch clause. But really... I'm the third Sterling Champion in this company. One of three in history. They should call Chaos 'The Ripplemagne Show'. Afterall, the Patriarch of Pretty was featured and presented in every time slot between each match of the evening except one.
Not only that, but I'm at the forefront of the most dominant faction in Global Extreme Wrestling. The Prodigal Son of this company submitted to me. Before millions, I outlasted the top talent in the business today. Not to mention that I've never been pinned or submitted by anyone in the company.
When I look over my shoulder, I see a man taller than anyone on the current roster wielding a war hammer. I see one of the most seasoned in-ring competitors of all time and a multiple time Hall of Famer in different companies, world wide. I see the International Champion and one of the most upstart talents in the company today. I see a man whose only loss, despite competing in the main event picture from the get go, in this company has been against the longest reigning champion in history."
Snickering to himself, Ripplemagne realizes exactly what he's doing...
Ripplemagne:
"See, I'm very real. And that notch on the L side of your record, Mr. Lynch? It's very real as well.
Believe it."
The two stand gallant before the camera as it begins to fade with The Tang jumping off of the top of the Trailer, landing on his ass. It's clear that this was not an edition of Your Feature Presentation because the interview was meant to inflame Javon Lynch after having been given his first loss in the company. In essence, it was Ripplemagne and Hayden Clarke's ways of rubbing salt in the wound for threatening a woman.
* * *
October 30, 2009
12:43 Ante Meridian
* * *
It was the aftermath of Chaos. The Matinée Movie Trailer was covered in confetti and corks from the champagne bottles popped open from the partying of the inauguration of Matinée Unlimited. Despite Bucky Skyler's loss to James Magnum for the Number One Contendership, it was a night of partying and fun.
The snack tables were out and were covered with paper plates with a variety of tasties including cheese doodles, potato chips, pretzels, cookies, cake and so on. In the background, we can clearly make out Dwight Mare munching on a cheese doodle. Seconds later, we see The Tang run by with a broom stick, seemingly under the impression that if he sits on it, he can fly.
However, the focal point of our feed is on Ripplemagne and Hayden Clarke. Still in his ring garb, Ripplemagne throws the Sterling belt over his shoulder. On the other hand, Hayden Clarke is seen in one of Ripplemagne's Believe t-shirts and a pair of torn up black jeans. By the quality of the shot and the overall mechanics of the video, we can tell that the operator of the camera is not The White Mage and this is not an official edition of Your Feature Presentation.
Quite the contrary, Hayden Clarke has a microphone in hand as she smiles with strain in her cheeks to prevent too much of her emotion coming through her facial features. On the other hand, Ripplemagne is standing with a cocky look on his face, making it clear that this is an interview.
Hayden Clarke:
"Good evening, Global Extreme Wrestling fans. I'm Hayden Clarke and I'm standing by with the newly crowned Sterling Champion -- the King of Hearts, Ripplemagne!"
Leaning over, Ripplemagne looks into Hayden's eyes with a haughty look, prompting a bit of a nervous look from her. Cracking a meager smile, he turns his head, speaking into the microphone and looking into the camera with his face especially close to Hayden's.
Ripplemagne:
"Strange. I could have sworn a particular goon made mention that there was no way that I was going to beat him. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, Mr. Lynch was supposed to prove to the world that the only reason that the magnificent one got anywhere in the business was because of your friendly neighborhood Stay Puft Marshmellow Man."
A snicker escapes Ripplemagne's lips as Hayden hands him the camera and he stands upright to continue...
Ripplemagne:
"If I recall correctly, the Ripplemagne is supposedly all of the following: A 'fake ass bitch', a 'pussy' who 'jerks it to anime', 'nothing', a 'homo ass muh fucka', a 'little white boy bitch', someone who 'cares what people think', one who is 'limited' and has 'boundaries', a 'ho' ass bitch' and that my magnificent gluteus maximus is somehow 'scrawny'."
Scratching his head, Ripplemagne tugs at the top of his shirt and takes a deep breath with a raised eyebrow and a pretentious look of concern on his face. After his little acting appeal, Ripplemagne titters to himself before continuing...
Ripplemagne:
"One has to wonder, though. If the Patriarch of Pretty is all of these things, what does it say about the guy who lost his pretty little belt to him?"
Cocking his head with a sarcastic look, Ripplemagne taps on the Sterling title as if to mock Javon Lynch for tapping out from the Sandman's Serenade.
Ripplemagne:
"Though, to be fair, Mr. Lynch did say that I 'ain't nothing' and by the laws of double negatives, that must be his way of ensuring that he didn't run my name through the muck too badly before having his head bounced off of every meter of that glistening steel girder along the entrance way. Especially after you insisted that you were going to, if my memory serves me correctly, shove your foot up my marvelous posterior."
Licking his lips, Ripplemagne adjusts the belt on his shoulder while taking Hayden Clarke by the chin with his hand. Smiling to her blushing face, Ripplemagne finally turns back to the camera and continues...
Ripplemagne:
"It's rather interesting to hear you talk, Mr. Lynch. You seem to be under the impression that because of my dapper visage, demure stature, flawless linguistics and gorgeous skin tone -- that the area of Queens that I descend from is Breezy Point.
It's all well and good though. See, the public schools of the Empire State are littered with pugnacious blatherskites such as yourself and it's all too familiar for the magnificent Ripplemagne. You assumed that my delicate features meant I've never taken a punch from a set of greasy, jagged sausage-link fingers like yours. You assumed that jovial nature was a result of being sheltered and that I didn't know what 'real' was."
Hayden Clarke:
"It's kind of funny, really. Ripplemagne is perhaps the most earnest individual I've ever met. His bravado is all show and that makes him fake."
It was clear that there was still scorn in the mind of Hayden after the rude interview she had with Javon Lynch.
Ripplemagne:
"His entire thought process astounds me. It's somehow a debacle for someone like me, one who 'plays by the rules', to not be in prison. But his delinquent, who no doubt got locked up for pimping his little sisters in the proejcts for a pouch of cocaine, who Mr. Lynch feels obligated to defend after giving him his 'conjugal visit' should be set free because uh... he's 'real'."
Raising his eyebrow and scratching his head, Ripplemagne shakes his head and laughs to himself. The premise of this amazes Ripplemagne, quite obviously...
Ripplemagne:
"His entire thought process astounds me. It's somehow a debacle for someone like me, one who 'plays by the rules', to not be in prison. But his delinquent, who no doubt got locked up for pimping his little sisters in the proejcts for a pouch of cocaine, who Mr. Lynch feels obligated to defend after giving him his 'conjugal visit' should be set free because uh... he's 'real'."
Hayden Clarke:
"You know, you're booked against him for next week too, right?"
Ripplemagne:
"I guess he does have a rematch clause. But really... I'm the third Sterling Champion in this company. One of three in history. They should call Chaos 'The Ripplemagne Show'. Afterall, the Patriarch of Pretty was featured and presented in every time slot between each match of the evening except one.
Not only that, but I'm at the forefront of the most dominant faction in Global Extreme Wrestling. The Prodigal Son of this company submitted to me. Before millions, I outlasted the top talent in the business today. Not to mention that I've never been pinned or submitted by anyone in the company.
When I look over my shoulder, I see a man taller than anyone on the current roster wielding a war hammer. I see one of the most seasoned in-ring competitors of all time and a multiple time Hall of Famer in different companies, world wide. I see the International Champion and one of the most upstart talents in the company today. I see a man whose only loss, despite competing in the main event picture from the get go, in this company has been against the longest reigning champion in history."
Snickering to himself, Ripplemagne realizes exactly what he's doing...
Ripplemagne:
"See, I'm very real. And that notch on the L side of your record, Mr. Lynch? It's very real as well.
Believe it."
The two stand gallant before the camera as it begins to fade with The Tang jumping off of the top of the Trailer, landing on his ass. It's clear that this was not an edition of Your Feature Presentation because the interview was meant to inflame Javon Lynch after having been given his first loss in the company. In essence, it was Ripplemagne and Hayden Clarke's ways of rubbing salt in the wound for threatening a woman.
* * *
