Back By Popular Demand
* * *
We open up to what seems to be a clip of the intro to the remake of Hairspray in the hustle and bustle of Baltimore, Maryland. From the upward still-frame of the petite city, we zoom in slowly as the pounding of drums gets louder and louder. As we get closer and closer, the sound of a cat screeching fills the audio among other things. We come in closer as we see the silhouette of someone cross through an alleyway.
The scene shifts down to the alleyway where we see a young boy in overalls and a green shirt walking by the ghetto passageway as a man on a bike briefly crosses out view, dinging the bell by its handlebars. As the bike passes, the young boy drops a gray stack of what looks like paper on the porch of a nearby doorway.
Shifting to a zoomed in shot of the gray stack, we can see that it's a newspaper, highlighted with an undefined number of words on its surface. We zoom into he headline to see where it says "Defies Reed, Pwns Harrison", an obvious edit to what it originally said; "Defies U.S., Bars Negros From".
We shift from a few other places in the neighborhood as the tempo picks up and other instruments kick in. People buzz by on their daily routines, going to work, going to school, opening up shop, et cetera. In between these shots, we get a brief view of a store window with light fixtures forming the words "Beauty Salon".
We cycle through several more scenes before reaching what looks like someone's bedroom; a pink quilt over what we can only presume is a person, swaying from side to side beneath it. The nooks and books littering the back wall is in surplus, but we zoom in on a silver alarm clock to the left of our screen as it goes off.
As this goes off, our view shifts once again; this time onto the eyes of what seems to be the face of a fine structured face half covered by the blanket raised over their nose. The perfectly shaped eyebrows amplify the already long brown eyelashes of the person beneath it as champagne hair can be seen coating the perimeter of their face. As the alarm goes off, the individual's blue-green eyes shoot open as the pupils snap to the side, presumably to look over at the alarm going off.
In that instant, we see a flurry of scenes including a hand grabbing said alarm, a blanket rising, feet dipping into a pair of pink slippers, a finely crafted male visage squeezing through a pink t-shirt, the same hands from before popping the buttons of a pair of faded jeans into place and a black trench coat throwing over the pink shirt. However, it seems that another hand -- a darker skinned hand -- grabs the hairspray bottle as it sprays into the camera, revealing the words:
Your Feature Presentation.
Finally, we see the person from before as he's easily identified as the magnificent Ripplemagne! In the mirror he stares, tussling with his wavy goldie locks and staring into his uncharacteristically tanned cheeks.
Ripplemagne:
"Oh, oh, oh! Woke up today...!"
The scene shifts to the pepper young lad coming through a doorway with a chipper smile and hop to his step. He makes his way through the hallway, swaying side to side as he sings to himself...
Ripplemagne:
"...Feeling the way... that I always do!"
Crossing into the kitchen, he passes through the table and counters before pulling the door to it open, his tune not breaking for a moment...
Ripplemagne:
"Oh, oh, oh! Hungry for something that I can dig! Then I hear that beat...!"
Closing the door to the refrigerator, Ripplemagne stands up, continuing the tune while strutting away...
Ripplemagne:
"That rhythm of town starts calling me down! It's like a message from high above!"
Moving toward the den of the MxM Trailer, Ripplemagne continues boogeying, while seemingly doing ballet spins and whatnot...
Ripplemagne:
"Oh, oh, oh! Pulling me out to the smiles and the streets that I love!"
Kneeling down, he presses the power button of the plasma screen TV and dips into the chorus simultaneous to the newscasters...
Ripplemagne:
"Good morning, Baltimore!"
Spinning around like a ballerina, Ripplemagne stands up straight and continues the chorus...
Ripplemagne:
"Every day's like an open door! Every night is a fantasy! Every sound's like a symphony!"
Crossing through a series of rooms, Ripplemagne steps out of the MxM trailer and shouts it out loud...
Ripplemagne:
"Good morning, Baltimore! And someday, when I take to the flo--"
Suddenly, we hear a scratch in the record as the music stops and Ripplemagne is cut off...
Miss Sarah:
"What the Hell are you doing?!"
Ripplemagne:
"....Singing Good Morning, Baltimore?"
Miss Sarah:
"We're not even in Baltimore! We're not even in Maryland! We're in Texas -- just about the farthest thing you can get from Maryland, by distance and culture!"
Ripplemagne:
"...Oh, oh, oh! Look at my hair! What do can compare with mine today?!"
Continuing passed a facepalming Miss Sarah with the music starting once more, Ripplemagne continues off screen...
* * *
And now, for your feature presentation...
* * *
Before anything, we hear clapping as the scene fazes into Ripplemagne in the same attire as before, clapping to a pull down screen in what looks like a production studio. Obviously, he's watching the video we were just treated to while clapping his gloved hands together...
Ripplemagne:
"Bravo, bravo. A masterpiece! Truly!"
The camera pans out some more to show Miss Sarah shaking her head in her palm as she looks up with a bit of contempt for our hero...
Miss Sarah:
"You could have chosen anything for your return and not only did you choose Hairspray, you chose Good Morning, Baltimore. Why not use that when we're actually in Baltimore."
Ripplemagne:
"Well, when we go to Baltimore, it'll already be an old hat..."
Miss Sarah:
"What?"
Ripplemagne:
"I just used it. If I use it when we're actually in Baltimore, it will be unexpected and not of Ripplemagne's transcended level of obby at all. Duh, Straylia!"
Miss Sarah:
"I meant that you shouldn't have used it no-- Forget it. It would seem that you're tag teaming with Napalm against the Empire of Blood for the Tag Team Title."
Ripplemagne:
"Ah, yes! And the Ripplemagne has much to say on that to management! Particularly, Vickie Guerrero!"
Miss Sarah:
"You mean Chelsea Reed?"
Ripplemagne:
"...Th-There's a difference...?"
Miss Sarah:
"Ugh. Nevermind. It's about time you have a lot to say about something serious. What is it you want to say to management?"
Ripplemagne:
"Is Reese Black still on the market? I know I've had my ups and downs with Reese; particularly, when I effectively made him my proverbial bitch in that nasty little backstage encount--"
Miss Sarah:
"You're confusing Reese Davenport and Reese Black. Reese Davenport, otherwise known as Vengeance, was Napalm's former partner whom you've had confrontations with. Reese Black is Kameron Chase's wife, who you won't shut up about."
Ripplemagne:
"Only because she has a striking resemblance to Megan Fox. And her milk shakes totally bring all the boys to the yard. Though, must say... Kameron Chase? Saw his junk in the shower room? And might I go on record to say that I have never seen such a canny resemblance to a mushroom sprout in all of my days. But it's all good because bella's bronzer will soon paint the Ripplemagne's inner thighs."
Miss Sarah:
"Out of curiosity, why are you even involving yourself with Kameron Chase? I know you and Baby Dogg are friends, but involving yourself in something like this screams trouble."
Ripplemagne:
"Because the Ripplemagne needs something to do in between planting crops on Farmville. Which, by the way, is proof that Ripplemagne is the best at everything he does. Between his vast farm land filled with succulent strawberries and his pretty bunnies that fro--"
Before he could finish his sentence, a white rabbit somehow popped out from his shirt, prompting him to raise eyebrow and hoist it by the ears, throwing it off screen.
Ripplemagne:
"...Well, that was odd. As I was saying, his pretty bunnies that fro--"
Once again, a white bunny popped its head out from Ripplemagne's shirt as he stood with a blank expression on his face before flinging it off screen again.
Ripplemagne:
"I swear on all that is pretty, I did not put those there."
Miss Sarah:
"Pray tell, how did they get there?"
Ripplemagne:
"How should I know?! Perhaps a colony of rabbits made--"
Yet another bunny pops from his shirt to his blank expression as he flings it off camera...
Ripplemagne:
"...made... a colony... in the Ripplemagne's... trench coat. I-I'm going to stop saying rabbit and bunny now."
At that moment, two popped from his shirt to Miss Sarah's amusement and Ripplemagne's content. Tossing them off along with the others, Ripplemagne turns back to his chuckling manager...
Ripplemagne:
"Edward! Fetch me a Magician's hat and wand. I must vanquish these foes before they monopolize the Ripplemagne's magnificent ensemble!"
As he says this, a young hispanic boy with spikey hair and a leather jacket appears in frame on a moped."
Andy V.:
"It's Andy, man."
Ripplemagne:
"When did this happen!?"
Andy V.:
"...Since I was uh... born. We went to school together. We had classes together. We went to parties together. In fact, we spoke on Facebook just the other day, Chr--"
Ripplemagne:
"The Ripplemagne recalls no such interaction! Take your faggio and vroom vroom to the Magician's Shop for the goods the Ripplemagne requested!"
Andy V.:
"A'ight."
As Andy V. lifts his scooter from the ground and turns it around and stands atop it before giving it some acceleration. As he rides off set, Miss Sarah raises and eyebrow at Ripplemagne...
Ripplemagne:
"Hehe. I called his scooter a faggio."
Miss Sarah:
"Parties and such, huh? So, you can be normal when you want to be?"
Ripplemagne:
"Of course not. The Ripplemagne is like a hawk; he--!"
Before he could finish his sentence, a hawk bursted from his shirt to his stoic expression. As it flew off, Ripplemagne stood blank with his eyes closed and finger in the air...
Ripplemagne:
"That... wasn't... a rabbit..."
Of course, yet another rabbit pops out of his shirt, prompting him to fling that one off set as well. Miss Sarah relishes in this as Ripplemagne seems very perturbed by this all...
Ripplemagne:
"A hex has been placed upon the Patriarch of Pretty. This shall end promptly! We shall have a hardcore match and the Ripplemagne will inflict pain upon these cornutos with pipes and steel chairs and tables and ladders and trash cans and bats and--"
Before he can finish, a bat promptly flies out of his shirt, taking flight out of the room, causing him to lose his train of thought again.
Ripplemagne:
"Oh, c'mon! I didn't even mean those kinds of bats!"
Stopping in his tracks, Ripplemagne's shirt opens up as bats fly out of every opening in it in one big wave. As they all bolt from the scene, one more flies out of Ripplemagne's trench coat sleeve as Miss Sarah is on the floor, laughing at this point.
Ripplemagne:
"...The Ripplemagne. He is sad."
Miss Sarah:
"Maybe this is a sign that you're playing that game too much."
Ripplemagne:
"umad because your little plot of land hasn't given you any fruit yet. The Ripplemagne's farm is a world class menagerie and yours is a potted plant. umad."
Miss Sarah:
"You only have pigs, ducks, goats, rabbits, sheep and chickens. How is that a world class menagerie"
Ripplemagne:
"And the Ripplemagne will soon attain a horsie!"
A cringe appeared on Miss Sarah's face as Ripplemagne's eyes widened...
Ripplemagne:
"Oh no..."
* * *
We open up to what seems to be a clip of the intro to the remake of Hairspray in the hustle and bustle of Baltimore, Maryland. From the upward still-frame of the petite city, we zoom in slowly as the pounding of drums gets louder and louder. As we get closer and closer, the sound of a cat screeching fills the audio among other things. We come in closer as we see the silhouette of someone cross through an alleyway.
The scene shifts down to the alleyway where we see a young boy in overalls and a green shirt walking by the ghetto passageway as a man on a bike briefly crosses out view, dinging the bell by its handlebars. As the bike passes, the young boy drops a gray stack of what looks like paper on the porch of a nearby doorway.
Shifting to a zoomed in shot of the gray stack, we can see that it's a newspaper, highlighted with an undefined number of words on its surface. We zoom into he headline to see where it says "Defies Reed, Pwns Harrison", an obvious edit to what it originally said; "Defies U.S., Bars Negros From".
We shift from a few other places in the neighborhood as the tempo picks up and other instruments kick in. People buzz by on their daily routines, going to work, going to school, opening up shop, et cetera. In between these shots, we get a brief view of a store window with light fixtures forming the words "Beauty Salon".
We cycle through several more scenes before reaching what looks like someone's bedroom; a pink quilt over what we can only presume is a person, swaying from side to side beneath it. The nooks and books littering the back wall is in surplus, but we zoom in on a silver alarm clock to the left of our screen as it goes off.
As this goes off, our view shifts once again; this time onto the eyes of what seems to be the face of a fine structured face half covered by the blanket raised over their nose. The perfectly shaped eyebrows amplify the already long brown eyelashes of the person beneath it as champagne hair can be seen coating the perimeter of their face. As the alarm goes off, the individual's blue-green eyes shoot open as the pupils snap to the side, presumably to look over at the alarm going off.
In that instant, we see a flurry of scenes including a hand grabbing said alarm, a blanket rising, feet dipping into a pair of pink slippers, a finely crafted male visage squeezing through a pink t-shirt, the same hands from before popping the buttons of a pair of faded jeans into place and a black trench coat throwing over the pink shirt. However, it seems that another hand -- a darker skinned hand -- grabs the hairspray bottle as it sprays into the camera, revealing the words:
Your Feature Presentation.
Finally, we see the person from before as he's easily identified as the magnificent Ripplemagne! In the mirror he stares, tussling with his wavy goldie locks and staring into his uncharacteristically tanned cheeks.
Ripplemagne:
"Oh, oh, oh! Woke up today...!"
The scene shifts to the pepper young lad coming through a doorway with a chipper smile and hop to his step. He makes his way through the hallway, swaying side to side as he sings to himself...
Ripplemagne:
"...Feeling the way... that I always do!"
Crossing into the kitchen, he passes through the table and counters before pulling the door to it open, his tune not breaking for a moment...
Ripplemagne:
"Oh, oh, oh! Hungry for something that I can dig! Then I hear that beat...!"
Closing the door to the refrigerator, Ripplemagne stands up, continuing the tune while strutting away...
Ripplemagne:
"That rhythm of town starts calling me down! It's like a message from high above!"
Moving toward the den of the MxM Trailer, Ripplemagne continues boogeying, while seemingly doing ballet spins and whatnot...
Ripplemagne:
"Oh, oh, oh! Pulling me out to the smiles and the streets that I love!"
Kneeling down, he presses the power button of the plasma screen TV and dips into the chorus simultaneous to the newscasters...
Ripplemagne:
"Good morning, Baltimore!"
Spinning around like a ballerina, Ripplemagne stands up straight and continues the chorus...
Ripplemagne:
"Every day's like an open door! Every night is a fantasy! Every sound's like a symphony!"
Crossing through a series of rooms, Ripplemagne steps out of the MxM trailer and shouts it out loud...
Ripplemagne:
"Good morning, Baltimore! And someday, when I take to the flo--"
Suddenly, we hear a scratch in the record as the music stops and Ripplemagne is cut off...
Miss Sarah:
"What the Hell are you doing?!"
Ripplemagne:
"....Singing Good Morning, Baltimore?"
Miss Sarah:
"We're not even in Baltimore! We're not even in Maryland! We're in Texas -- just about the farthest thing you can get from Maryland, by distance and culture!"
Ripplemagne:
"...Oh, oh, oh! Look at my hair! What do can compare with mine today?!"
Continuing passed a facepalming Miss Sarah with the music starting once more, Ripplemagne continues off screen...
* * *
And now, for your feature presentation...
* * *
Before anything, we hear clapping as the scene fazes into Ripplemagne in the same attire as before, clapping to a pull down screen in what looks like a production studio. Obviously, he's watching the video we were just treated to while clapping his gloved hands together...
Ripplemagne:
"Bravo, bravo. A masterpiece! Truly!"
The camera pans out some more to show Miss Sarah shaking her head in her palm as she looks up with a bit of contempt for our hero...
Miss Sarah:
"You could have chosen anything for your return and not only did you choose Hairspray, you chose Good Morning, Baltimore. Why not use that when we're actually in Baltimore."
Ripplemagne:
"Well, when we go to Baltimore, it'll already be an old hat..."
Miss Sarah:
"What?"
Ripplemagne:
"I just used it. If I use it when we're actually in Baltimore, it will be unexpected and not of Ripplemagne's transcended level of obby at all. Duh, Straylia!"
Miss Sarah:
"I meant that you shouldn't have used it no-- Forget it. It would seem that you're tag teaming with Napalm against the Empire of Blood for the Tag Team Title."
Ripplemagne:
"Ah, yes! And the Ripplemagne has much to say on that to management! Particularly, Vickie Guerrero!"
Miss Sarah:
"You mean Chelsea Reed?"
Ripplemagne:
"...Th-There's a difference...?"
Miss Sarah:
"Ugh. Nevermind. It's about time you have a lot to say about something serious. What is it you want to say to management?"
Ripplemagne:
"Is Reese Black still on the market? I know I've had my ups and downs with Reese; particularly, when I effectively made him my proverbial bitch in that nasty little backstage encount--"
Miss Sarah:
"You're confusing Reese Davenport and Reese Black. Reese Davenport, otherwise known as Vengeance, was Napalm's former partner whom you've had confrontations with. Reese Black is Kameron Chase's wife, who you won't shut up about."
Ripplemagne:
"Only because she has a striking resemblance to Megan Fox. And her milk shakes totally bring all the boys to the yard. Though, must say... Kameron Chase? Saw his junk in the shower room? And might I go on record to say that I have never seen such a canny resemblance to a mushroom sprout in all of my days. But it's all good because bella's bronzer will soon paint the Ripplemagne's inner thighs."
Miss Sarah:
"Out of curiosity, why are you even involving yourself with Kameron Chase? I know you and Baby Dogg are friends, but involving yourself in something like this screams trouble."
Ripplemagne:
"Because the Ripplemagne needs something to do in between planting crops on Farmville. Which, by the way, is proof that Ripplemagne is the best at everything he does. Between his vast farm land filled with succulent strawberries and his pretty bunnies that fro--"
Before he could finish his sentence, a white rabbit somehow popped out from his shirt, prompting him to raise eyebrow and hoist it by the ears, throwing it off screen.
Ripplemagne:
"...Well, that was odd. As I was saying, his pretty bunnies that fro--"
Once again, a white bunny popped its head out from Ripplemagne's shirt as he stood with a blank expression on his face before flinging it off screen again.
Ripplemagne:
"I swear on all that is pretty, I did not put those there."
Miss Sarah:
"Pray tell, how did they get there?"
Ripplemagne:
"How should I know?! Perhaps a colony of rabbits made--"
Yet another bunny pops from his shirt to his blank expression as he flings it off camera...
Ripplemagne:
"...made... a colony... in the Ripplemagne's... trench coat. I-I'm going to stop saying rabbit and bunny now."
At that moment, two popped from his shirt to Miss Sarah's amusement and Ripplemagne's content. Tossing them off along with the others, Ripplemagne turns back to his chuckling manager...
Ripplemagne:
"Edward! Fetch me a Magician's hat and wand. I must vanquish these foes before they monopolize the Ripplemagne's magnificent ensemble!"
As he says this, a young hispanic boy with spikey hair and a leather jacket appears in frame on a moped."
Andy V.:
"It's Andy, man."
Ripplemagne:
"When did this happen!?"
Andy V.:
"...Since I was uh... born. We went to school together. We had classes together. We went to parties together. In fact, we spoke on Facebook just the other day, Chr--"
Ripplemagne:
"The Ripplemagne recalls no such interaction! Take your faggio and vroom vroom to the Magician's Shop for the goods the Ripplemagne requested!"
Andy V.:
"A'ight."
As Andy V. lifts his scooter from the ground and turns it around and stands atop it before giving it some acceleration. As he rides off set, Miss Sarah raises and eyebrow at Ripplemagne...
Ripplemagne:
"Hehe. I called his scooter a faggio."
Miss Sarah:
"Parties and such, huh? So, you can be normal when you want to be?"
Ripplemagne:
"Of course not. The Ripplemagne is like a hawk; he--!"
Before he could finish his sentence, a hawk bursted from his shirt to his stoic expression. As it flew off, Ripplemagne stood blank with his eyes closed and finger in the air...
Ripplemagne:
"That... wasn't... a rabbit..."
Of course, yet another rabbit pops out of his shirt, prompting him to fling that one off set as well. Miss Sarah relishes in this as Ripplemagne seems very perturbed by this all...
Ripplemagne:
"A hex has been placed upon the Patriarch of Pretty. This shall end promptly! We shall have a hardcore match and the Ripplemagne will inflict pain upon these cornutos with pipes and steel chairs and tables and ladders and trash cans and bats and--"
Before he can finish, a bat promptly flies out of his shirt, taking flight out of the room, causing him to lose his train of thought again.
Ripplemagne:
"Oh, c'mon! I didn't even mean those kinds of bats!"
Stopping in his tracks, Ripplemagne's shirt opens up as bats fly out of every opening in it in one big wave. As they all bolt from the scene, one more flies out of Ripplemagne's trench coat sleeve as Miss Sarah is on the floor, laughing at this point.
Ripplemagne:
"...The Ripplemagne. He is sad."
Miss Sarah:
"Maybe this is a sign that you're playing that game too much."
Ripplemagne:
"umad because your little plot of land hasn't given you any fruit yet. The Ripplemagne's farm is a world class menagerie and yours is a potted plant. umad."
Miss Sarah:
"You only have pigs, ducks, goats, rabbits, sheep and chickens. How is that a world class menagerie"
Ripplemagne:
"And the Ripplemagne will soon attain a horsie!"
A cringe appeared on Miss Sarah's face as Ripplemagne's eyes widened...
Ripplemagne:
"Oh no..."
* * *
